Wagon Train

This past week we escaped to Hume Lake in the Sequoia National Forest. My entire tribe went to Wagon Train. My kids were campers and my husband and I served as counselors. The week was devoted to growing the kids in their faith through a number of extremely fun activities. 

The kids rappelled and focused on trusting the ropes - trusting in Jesus to get them through even the most daunting tasks. They shot arrows as they focused on the bulls-eye - learning to focus on God before aiming for anything.

It was an incredible week of growth for my kids and my husband and me. We slept in covered wagons that were not the most comfortable or the warmest of conditions but it was a fun experience nevertheless. Each wagon bunked nine children and one counselor. I was thankful mine only had seven girls. We had two extra beds for the volumes of luggage little girls bring. One of my campers had a complete set of gear from rolling suitcase to toiletry bag and everything in between!

All camp attendees had chapel twice a day and two hours of recreation with our trail guide. This is where the campers rappelled and shot BB guns and played an awesome game of David and Goliath...campers verses counselors. Recreation was followed by three hours of free time in which campers scoured the camp and did any number of fun activities. They canoed, swam, played Gau Gau ball, did crafts, zip-lined, conquered the big swing, explored the Hermit's Cave and reached the very tops of an amazing forest tree house...it was endless amounts of fun!

The coolest thing was that Wagon Train is a private camp. Kids can't get out and people can't get in. The kids have this amazing ability to run and have all this fun without being helicoptered by a parent. We counselors were always around and often took groups to different activities but it wasn't required. My kids enjoyed freedom like they have never experienced.

I learned so much too. I learned that my kids can do far more than I believed they could. When I saw my daughter pop on down the rock rappelling with no fear I realized she is SO capable of so much. I learned that fun can be a ball and an open space. Not all fun needs to be planned into a formal activity. Fun can be anything! I also learned to be present. A week without technology was blissful. I learned that technology can wait...my kids are what is important and I want to give them the best bits of me. They deserve more than the remnants of mom.

Each evening after dinner the counselors and campers would head to the field for a camp-wide game. This was a ridiculous amount of fun. I ran like a kid and cheered and whooped! The game was different every night but just as fun as the night before. The camp is divided into Wildcats and Blackbears and I am happy to say the Wildcats were recognized as camp champs by the end of the week. 

It wasn't an easy week and I desperately longed for my shower and bed by mid-week but it was fun. It was a gift to be treasured. My kids can't wait to go again next year...and maybe I will too. We'll see what the God Lord has planned. 

Summer is here!

Summer is in full swing at Smokey Acres. The outside thermometer is pulsating in the heat and the air conditioner is whirling non-stop even though the house is closed and the shades are drawn. We tapped out at 109 degrees the very day we left the cool of the Pacific Ocean and return to our drought-stricken valley.

After the kids ended their school year we emptied out backpacks and lunch bags and then promptly retreated to Pismo Beach. The coolness of the air and the crash of the waves was enough to let our spirits recharge. Well, recharge until it was time to climb into a tent with two steamy kids and no ventilation. It smelled like feet laced with halitosis. But, smell, uneven landscape, and condensation aside...it was a great trip.

We were able to rent the kids some wetsuits from an interesting old codger who looked like a salty old pirate. With wetsuits keeping them warm, the kids were able to enjoy their boogie boards ALL day. And I mean, short break for lunch, then back to the waves...ALL day! They had sand in every nook, cranny, and crevice but that didn't stop the smiles. My kids are inexplicably drawn to water so to spend the day in the crashing waves was pure joy!

I am so glad we kicked off summer with a trip west. The beach is not far from us but it still takes planning to get the tribe gathered and gone. We joined friends at the campground whose kids are classmates with mine. They were ready to welcome summer with s'mores and hot dogs on a skewer like us. 

Now we are baking back home in the valley and preparing for Wagon Train! We will actually sleep in covered wagons at 5,200 feet elevation. I am excited but also nervous. I will have 10 giggly girls in my charge. I have not been to camp before and I have never be a counselor of any sort so this will definitely be an adventure. I am praying it will be a great experience! I am excited for my kids too. This is their first adventure at summer camp. My dear friend says she can't wait to hear the stories when we come back. She said were we go, the stories follow. I hope I don't disappoint and I hope the stories are all something to laugh about!

Summertime!

One more week and the kids are off for summer. I am quite excited about this. I know there will be days when I will want to bang my head against my desk and weep when I have to work and the kids are circling me like sharks. They will know my question before I ask it. "Uh, Mom? No one is bleeding but..."

While the hubs and I must continue to earn paychecks this summer we do have adventures planned. Some short and some longish. It will be a good opportunity to spend time together as a family and remember why we like each other. The kids are excited to sleep in. They are happy at the prospect of not hearing me sing my way down the hall to wake them up at 6:30 each morning. Somehow, Zippity Doo Dah, is not music to their ears.They are looking forward to play dates occasions to hang out with friends. They minds are set to swimming and s'mores and sand. 

I am hopeful that the weeks of summer will not travel by too quickly. I need to recharge and I hope the weeks dawdle a bit. I don't want to speed through summer and enter the school year at full throttle prepared for burn-out by October. We have to at least make it to November before the morning battles begin!

We'll see what the summer brings! Four days and counting!


 

Time to regroup, refocus, recharge, reconsider!

I have been working in college publishing for nearly 14 years. I was thinking back to my previous jobs and it is so odd that these positions that were once a large part of my life are fading memories. Names I used to know are gone. Tasks I used to do daily are little blips in my memory I can barely recall. Company events that I helped plan are on the very fringes of my memory stores.

I remember clearly what I disliked about my jobs and the people that made my life miserable. But, I don’t recall as many fun times or moments of intense learning. I had bosses I liked and bosses I loathed. I had really wonderful people that I worked with that I can’t even recall enough of their names to find them on Facebook. Was is Suzie or Lucy?

I don’t even remember if I was excited about those jobs. Did I wake up eager to get to the office? I don’t think so. I just got up and did my thing. I got out the door and clocked in right on time. I do recall being excited about Thursday. Thursday was the day before Friday and Friday at 5pm I was free. I sort of miss detaching from work on Friday at 5pm. Now, much of my work is from my home office and it is harder to check out. With cell phones I can be contacted at any time of day, weekend or not. That is a bit maddening.

After 14 years with the company I now work for so much of what I do is just ingrained in me. It is often exceedingly boring but every so often I get to scout out new info or wrangle a new challenge. I keep hoping to move up the ladder a bit but the rungs are full of folks that really need to retire. When I am of retirement age I will retire. I won’t hang onto a position that some new blood is thirsty for.

I have seen so many people come and go from this organization. I am always curious where they went and why. I have checked out a few opportunities over the years and I have been offered a few different positions. I wonder if there are any I should have accepted. If I hadn’t followed the path I am currently on I would never have met my husband. But, perhaps it is time to branch out into other things and seek new opportunities? If I do, will this place become a foggy memory in a few years’ time? Will the excitement of something new quickly fade to some boring reality?

My son wrote about his life 20 years from now for an Open House project at school. His last line is: Most importantly, I will have fun doing what I like. Where did he get so wise and did I miss that boat already? I know I don’t do what I love for living. I enjoy bits of it but I don’t wake up and dance around that I get to work today. I want that. I want to have fun doing what I like. I want to dance around full of joy for the work day ahead. Why must work be labor? Why can’t it be fun?

I think something is amiss if I can’t look back on my career and say, “Yes. That was quite awesome work I did. I really enjoyed my years there.” If my memories are strained then they aren’t shrouded in awesomeness. Clearly I am eking out a living instead of joyfully providing for my family. I really need to have fun doing what I like. I need an overhaul!

I am tired. I am stressed. I am underpaid. And…I don’t even get bubblies in my tummy over my work? Oy vie! Time to reconsider and reprioritize.

Open House

We attended Open House last night for my kids' school. One of the projects my son completed was a poem using the letters of his name. Our daughter was the first to spot his poem on the wall. I knew something was wrong when the steam started to eek from her ears. 

"Look at what Mitchell wrote for 'E'," she seethed.

I squinted my eyes and read out loud, "Ellie is my sis and she likes to hiss!" I did a snort before composing myself.

"It isn't funny, Mom!" Ellie....hissed.

"Well, it kind of is," I told her.

She gave me the stink-eye and replied, "I better get Mrs. B when I am in fourth grade so I can write about him! Hmph!"

Siblings!

Aside from Ellie's ire over the poem we did have a lot of fun checking out what the kids have been working on this year. They have been busy! 

In merely second grade, Ellie completed a lengthy report on sharks filled with interesting facts about these "killing machines." Her favorite was the Hammerhead which she sculpted with the help of Dad out of foam and paper mache. In fact, all of the parents...I mean, kids... projects turned out great!

I was blown away by the level of the work the students completed this year. When I was in second grade I think we were still reading about Seeing Spot Run. Ellie had written haiku's and learned about butterflies and their proboscis'. Amazing!

Mitchell completed an amazing level of work also in addition to his clever poem. He did a touch and feel report on the Miwok Indians that rivaled any high school report I ever completed. He had written amazingly descriptive imagery paragraphs and put together a very detailed diorama. I also learned that in 20 years he will be living at the beach while making a living being a pro-skateboarder. You know...I hope he makes it happen. There is no rule that says he has to be a white collar worker. I truly want both of my kids to find their passion and work at that. Now, If I could just get him to smile in photos instead of giving me that "I wish I was anywhere but here look" we would be set!

 

Best Buddies

My kids are 7 and 9 and they each have an amazing best friend. They are social kids and have a lot of friends at school but they also have that one, amazing go-to person that they would spend every waking minute with if they could.

My son is small and wily and his best buddy is a full head taller and more precise in his movements. He and my son complement one another. They enjoy much of the same things and are both very grounded. They are in that transition phase from child to I-am-young-but-not-a-child. Neither one makes fun of the other for having Nemo sheets on the bed or a nightlight. They accept one another and have each other's back. 

My son encouraged his buddy to join the triathlon team with him and his buddy is surprising himself by running and even enjoying it! They talk about everything from Legos to Disneyland to God in Heaven. I enjoy listening to them talk about crazy things and crazy plans they have. My hope is that they will always be best buddies.

My daughter is also blessed with an amazing best friend. Her bestie told me that my daughter is the candy-coating to her M&M's! They are seven! The girls are not as mellow as the boys. They squeal and giggle. They have little toy squirrels that they tend to and coo over. They often put their heads together and whisper light-hearted secrets. They are in sync like no other children I have met. They link arms and dance around and they accept new friends to their group. They have a seemingly easy friendship but I believe it is iron-clad. Theirs will be a friendship that withstands the years.

In looking back at my childhood I remember one friend that lived next-door to my grandmother. We were locked at the hip from about six to 16. She ended up getting pregnant in high school and moving to Texas with her new baby and new husband. I lost touch with her as she began her new life.

I missed out on those rock solid friendships built in childhood but God instead blessed me with the most amazing friends later in life. My girlfriends now are as close as family if not closer. They have my back and my heart. They are the kind of friends that will show up with shovels - no questions asked. They accept my dorkiness and are there will the rope seems to be rapidly fraying. I can't imagine a world without my friends and I am so thankful my kids are already off to a good start.

Being Spent

One of my biggest flaws as a parent is giving my family the leftovers. Not leftovers from past meals - those leftovers are gems - but the leftovers of myself. The bits of me that are left over after a stressful day. The dribs and drabs of mom that didn't get taken by colleagues or customers or even the bank teller.

As I progress through my day I often find my joy dwindling. It is almost like I only have a certain amount to give and then I become weary. Of course I want to be kind and courteous to those I work with and work for. They don't need to see the weary Jen I tuck away. And, most assuredly, I want to lift up my friends who are struggling and share in the joy of their victories. I am kind to the bank tellers and grocery clerks. I am friendly with the people I pass on my run or at the gym. I wave to moms on the way to school. I chat with teachers and girlfriends. I respond to emails in exclamation points and happy faces. I smile, I laugh, I delight, I grow weary. 

I sing and dance in the kitchen while I make dinner and I go through the motions to clean up the dishes. I ask my children to get their showers. They resist. I say, "Please." They ask, "Why? Can't we just have five more minutes?" And, then I am done. I start my count, "One! I'm at two!" I never get to three and I am ever so thankful. I have no idea what happens at three? Do they lose electronic for a day? Do they have to clean the bathrooms? I really need to develop a plan for "three!" 

I thought it was just that my kids knew how to push my buttons - and they do! But, mostly I see that I am frustrated because I am spent. I have given so much of myself away during the day that I have very little good bits left to offer the people that mean the most to me as the day closes. My patience is thin for sibling wars and procrastination. My kids are being kids but I sometimes forget what it is like to be 7 and 9 years old. 

Kids doddle because they see the joy. They know it is fun to sing in the mirror even if Mom has asked them to shower four times. They know it is crazy delightful to jump on the bed even if they are supposed to be getting their pajamas on. They love to irritate siblings even if they have been told to brush their teeth. Kids are kids. Attention spans are short. Shining objects are distracting. And, mud truly beckons their attention.

I catch myself every time my fuse is short. And I get angry at myself. Why was I so nice to the lady at the pizza parlor and am so frustrated with my children? Why do I spare so little joy for these little people that are my biggest gifts?

I try hard to pick my battles. I don't want to wig out over mud tracked into the house - but I also wonder why these beautiful little beings can't wipe their feet? I will count to 10 before I asked them - again - to pick up their shoes and sweaty socks from the living room. I will smile and say, "I love you! Now, I really need you to hop in the shower." 

My goal is to open a reserve in my heart for extra joy. I need to store it away during the day so I can release it to my family as the day closes. I need to say, "Yes. You can have five more minutes." And, I need to embrace their childhood. I need to cherish the chaos instead of weeping over my stumbles as an overwrought parent. I need to realize that in the scope of world, mud on my floors is minuscule. I will save good portions of Mom for my kids each day. I won't promise to be perfect because I know I can't walk on water. But, I will try my hardest to save the top-of-the-line Mom qualities for my kids each day. And, my poor husband! I need to remember that I am not just a mom but a wife as well.