This isn't Smokey Acres!

Today, I had my first experience with a topless beach. Oh, I didn't toss my top and let everything hang in the wind. I kept my shirt on and may have even unconsciously buttoned the top button. But, I went for a walk down a little trail outside of the hotel here in Miami . As I strolled, I watched the tide come in and out and then this women steps into my line of vision. I do a double-take. She is there, chatting with a friend, with her breasts flopping this way and that. I am aghast as she bends over and digs through her duffel for a cigarette which she proceeds to light. I know, I was staring and staring is rude. I tried, but could not pull my eyes away. I was a first-rate rubbernecker! But, where I come from girls wear shirts!

So I looked around again and I see a number of women totally at ease with their naked boobies hanging out. I feel like a prude! I set my sights back on my path and then take one more look to the beach. Then I laugh. There are a great many old men in speedos. They are tanned and oily looking. White shoes clomping on the sand. And, did I mention the speedos? This is almost as horrifying as bare boobs. I finally turned and went back to the hotel when I saw a man and his son/grandson (age about 5 years) wearing matching white speedos. Oh, that is just not right! A child in a speedo on a topless beach! Egads! The child was just happy as a clam. I know if my 4-year-old was at my side his lower jaw would be scraping the sand.

I quicken my pace back to the hotel gate which leads to the pool. This is a good people watching spot but I have had enough. As I take the steps back to the hotel entrance I pass two old guys talking. One guy says to the other, "Thing is, the only gals down on the beach going topless is the ones that need their tops on!" Amen to that...um, I think?