Not what it seemed

I have made it no secret that Girl Scout cookie season is a dark time for me. It lands smack in the middle of my busiest season at work so my perception is admittedly skewed. But, it doesn't help when I am verbally assaulted while delivering cookie. Yes. It happened.

Some friends and family in a town about 40 minutes south of me ordered cookies. I decided it would be easiest to take a couple hours and deliver the cookies rather than mail them all. My first stop was a friend whose home I had never been too. She said, "Call me when you get off the freeway and I will guide you in." So I did. I called and her line was busy. It this age of technology it took my mind a moment to recognize the nearly forgotten sound. I tried again...still busy.

I decided to pull into a Taco Bell parking lot while I tried to reach her. I sat in my car facing the next business over which was a gas station. I dialed every minute or so and still received a busy signal. As I sat in my car a large man approached my driver side window. He thumped on the glass. I shook my head indicating I was not going to roll down my window. He thumped again and I shook my head again. Frustration came over his face but he walked away.

I was slightly disturbed but not overly concerned. Like any town this one surely had panhandlers. What happened next was what really left me dumbfounded.

I was still trying to reach my friend who was apparently on an exceedingly long call.  Moments after the man left my window an older woman who was pumping gas in her beat up pick-up marched over from the gas station to my car. She smacked her palm against my window and screamed - yes, she screamed - at me to roll my window down. Um, no! She smacked her hand against my window again and I rolled my window down about an inch so I could tell her to stop. She hollered at me to roll down my window all the way. I said there was no way that was going to happen and I asked her what her deal was. She proceeded to tell me that she was a Christian and that I was basically the spawn of hell. She saw me hand money to that guy and I was the problem with society. Trash like me had strung out teenagers panhandling for money on my behalf. She hoped I liked hell because that was were I would one day rot. Seriously.

I sat in my mom-wagon in my nicely pressed work clothes with boxes of Girl Scout cookies piled in the passenger seat  while this woman berated me and accused me of something that was so off-base I was positively stunned. I could not think of anything to say. I have never been attacked like that in my world of rainbows and puffy clouds. It was about two hours later when I thought of all the clever comebacks I should have spewed. The only thing that popped out of my mouth was..."What?"

"Don't you 'what' me! You know what you are! You are evil. You are evil to your core."

"How dare you!" I grew one small ounce of backbone. "How dare you accuse me of such things. I didn't even roll down my window for that man."

"I saw him hand you money! You are filth!"

"He did not hand money! I don't know what you think you saw but the only reason I am sitting here is to call my friend to get directions to her house so I can deliver GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!" I gestured to the mammoth stack of cookies in my car.

"Well, I am sorry." That was ALL she said. She called me the spawn of hell and then offered a feeble "I am sorry?"

"What? You come over here and accuse me of all sorts of awful things and then you say, "Oh, gee, I'm sorry?"

She snapped again and yelled, "I said I was sorry! I don't know what your deal is! I AM SORRY!"

With a smack on my door she stomped back to the gas station and jumped in her gas-guzzler and chugged away.

I sat in my car for a long time before my heart stopped racing. I do not like confrontation even if it is planned and must take place. I am big on flight skills and only polish my fighting skills if I truly must. I did not know how to process what had just taken place. It was so beyond my reality. 

The thing that stuck with me was the woman said she was a Christian. Really? I am a Christian also and I don't go around smacking on car windows and yelling at people about things I know nothing about. Because a person is Christian does not give them license to say whatever they want. It is not a perpetual get-out-of-jail-free card.

The only thing I do know about that day is that I will use the post office to deliver my cookie orders this year lest I run into any overzealous Christian impostors again!