After work today I took a long walk on the beach. As I walked, I unloaded my mind. I refused to allow myself to dwell on any topic or ponder any deep thought. I let my mind race and it seemed the more it raced the calmer I felt. It was as if I had allowed my mind to purge thoughts I had stored for years that I no longer needed.
In rapid fire succession I took in the sights and sounds around me as memories of the past crept to present mind. Who am I? Who do I want to be? What mistakes have I made? What are my good traits? What do I completely fail in? Who likes me? Who hates me? Who has misconceptions about me? What are those misconceptions? Why did that person do that to me? Why do I care? With every breath I exhaled I discarded a negative emotion or memory.
As my mind rolled, I watched a young boy with cowboy boots on the wrong feet attempt to make a sand castle where the water breaks. I watched as a German Shepherd ignored every other creature except for his human companion and seagulls. I watched runners trot by me wishing I had remembered my running tights or shorts or any sort of running bottoms. But then I found myself thankful for the walk that was clearing my mind. I watched couples walk hand-in-hand. I watched a young girl attempt to skim board AND catch a Frisbee at the same time...so as not to leave you hanging, I will tell you that she could not. I marveled at the thousands of Velella jelly fish that had washed ashore and littered the beach like beautiful little flowers.
For the first time in a long time I lived. I stood in the moment. I released the past and took in the present. I watched. I listened. I smelled the salt in the air. I felt.
And I realized.
I realized that not all people like me and that is OK. I realized that I make mistakes and that is forgivable. I realized that I work too hard to be paid so little. I realized that the past is the past and it belongs there. I realized my husband and my children are the only people whose opinions truly matter. I realized how good it felt to feel. To not race through life to get to some destination that hasn't even been determined. I realized it is important to let go. It is critical to move forward. I realized my moment hasn't passed. I haven't missed some huge opportunity that I didn't see. I realized my life is still before me. I realized that when I dwell on things or worry too much about what others think that I rob myself of the precious moments at hand. The moment at hand is the moment that matters. The past is gone and the future has yet to be determined.
As I inhaled the crisp air that whipped around me I felt hope. I felt recharged. I felt inspired to live life and not walk through it.
Can a simple walk down the beach change your life? It just might!
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