Monday, September 28, 2009

Broken Chin?

Last night, I was laying in bed with my three-year-old. We were talking about all the things that are important to little girls. We discussed favorite colors, Christmas presents, baby dolls, and our dogs. We were facing each other as we shared her favorite princess pillow. Very randomly, my sweet, adorable, darling little girl asks, "So when are you getting another chin, Mommy?"

Surprised I asked, "Another chin?"

"Yeah. Another chin," she responded in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"Do I need another chin?" I asked.

"Yeah Mommy," she replied. "Your chin is broken. You have a rainbow."

I lifted my fingers to my chin and feel the crease that runs between the top of my chin and my lower lip. It has always been there. I think it is because of my overbite (wouldn't mean Katie have a field day with this one!?!?). And it does sort of have an arch to it.

"This?" I asked.

"Uh-hmm. You have a rainbow cause your chin is broken. See I don't have a rainbow," she said as she ran fingers across her smooth little chin.

"Well, do you think I could just keep this chin?"

I could see that she thought this was a bad idea. Her little mind was working double-time. She was rubbing her chin and looking at mine. I just know she was thinking, "Why on Earth would she want that horrible chin?"

Finally, my darling daughter spoke in very careful words, "Sure Mommy. You can keep that chin. It will be alright."

And with that she patted my hand and went to sleep leaving me to ponder my rainbow chin and the mind of a child.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Ugh!

You ever have one of those days? You know, those days. Those days were nothing goes right and the more you try to make it right, the more frustrated you become? Today was one of those days for me.

Instead of complaining about it, I am going to take my bad day and put it to bed. Tomorrow is a fresh day! I hope that it starts on time and doesn't end with tomato sauce on my work clothes. That isn't too much to ask and it is good to have small, focused goals in mind as I work through the day.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Stepping Stones

I was thinking this evening about all the things I have gone through to get to this exact moment in my life. Nothing turned out as I expected it would and I am very thankful that God's plans are always much better than my own. I thought about how even my worst experiences prepared me or paved the road for my life now.

In my trip down memory lane, I skipped over the soul-crushing four years of high school and went straight to college. I thought about how I met one of my dearest friends on the first day of freshman orientation. I thought about how that friend later offered me a job that connected me with two other people who have become two of my dearest girlfriends. I thought about how that job offered me the experience I needed to get a different job. It was at that different job that a co-worker introduced me to his friend who later became my husband.

I even thought for a moment about the creepy, controlling, head-case of a boyfriend I had before I met my dear husband. Had I not dated such a wretch would I have appreciated my husband as much as I do? Would I marvel at my husband's calmness and mellow manner? Would I acknowledge that in my husband I met my match? Someone who embraced my thrill-seeking tendencies rather than shook his head and muttered miserably?

Had I not taken that job and met my husband I likely would not have had my home burn down. But then I wouldn't have been blessed with a new one. I likely wouldn't have had a few of the pets that have given us both so much joy. And, I wouldn't have two of the most precious gifts God has ever given me. I can no longer imagine - nor do I want to imagine - a world without my children.

When hard times are pressing on us it is hard to realize that "this to shall pass." That this moment is merely a stepping stone to get us to another place. An experience is something we can learn from whether the experience is good or bad. We wrestle through and then step to the next stone. I really do believe that everything happens for a reason...every block builds on the next.

Think for a moment about all the little things that helped get you to this moment...appreciate them! I certainly do. I appreciate the traffic ticket that sent me to traffic school which I disliked so much I drive much slower now. I appreciate the world's worst neighbor that we lived next to when we lived in town. If not for her, we might never have ventured out to "the country." I appreciate the carpet cleaner who, while cleaning my carpets, paused and said, "I have this feeling I need to tell you to be still. God wants you to be still." It was when I stood still I met my husband. And, I appreciate our dirt and weeds landscaping in our front and back yards. I appreciate it because I know someday we will have grass and I will relish that grass every day.

I hope that whatever stone you are standing on is a great one. And, I hope when you find yourself on one warped and cracked that you will remember that "this to shall pass" and you are simply paving the way for a brighter future.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Barbie Moms

I find myself increasingly in awe of Barbie moms. I really don't know what else to coin them. They drop their children off to school with perfect, Bump-it worthy coiffures. They dress in linen that, amazingly, never has wrinkles. They wear high heels, fake nails, and lots of Bling. Yes, they are awe-worthy creatures.

Me? Depending on my work schedule for the day, I can be seen dropping off my children in anything from my running gear to black slacks. If I was placed into the outfit of a Barbie mom I know with certainty I could not pull it off. I lack grace. I walk with a goofy gait. I laugh loud and sort of like a clucking chicken. I like sneakers...really, I love them. I would rather wear denim than silk. I have good manners, but I certainly don't eat with style. I don't eat with just my teeth for fear of smudging my lipstick because I rarely wear it.

The Bump-it hairstyles elude me. I wrestle with my hair daily and most often opt for a simple ponytail. I do put my make-up on with care, but it isn't an art for me. My make-up isn't dramatic or alluring. It is functional. It covers up blemishes and ruddiness.

Perhaps my simple sense of style is why I find Barbie moms so intriguing. I wonder how many hours they spend getting ready each day? I wonder if their husbands have ever seen them without make-up? I wonder if their homes are spotless? I wonder these things but I don't want them. I don't want to be perfect or even attempt to be. I don't want to worry more about my clothes than my priorities. I don't want to be prettier than the other moms in the PTA. I don't want that stress. I want to enjoy my life; to enjoy my family. I want to run around the back field with my kids and laugh instead of squeal in horror if my son lobs a mud ball at me. I want to let my daughter put purple lip balm on me and be able to leave it there because she thinks it is pretty.

I will never be a Barbie mom and I am OK with that. Instead I will settle into my own skin and be the best sort of mom I know how to be. A mom who is simply herself.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A Night Out is in Order!

OK...I am one day shy of it being a full month since I posted something. It is life! Life is so busy. I really do hate it when the days on the calendar start filling up. A lot of it is work. Summer is over and I am back working in earnest until Christmas Break. A lot of it is school stuff. With a kindergartner among us, my dear hubs and I find ourselves busy monitoring homework, attending PTA meetings, helping with Mitchell's first fundraiser, and managing all the paperwork we find in his backpack each day. A lot of it is family stuff. This is the fun stuff. Day trips to the ocean, birthday parties for friends of the kidlets, swimming at Auntie's or Grandparents.

I do notice that there is one thing clearing missing from the little boxes on the calendar. There is no date night. The dear hubs and I have not blocked off anytime for us. We have time noted for our friends independent of each other. I had a knitting adventure with my Mom written in. The dear hubs has a dinner with his buddies planned. But there is no time for him and me. A time to just sit and have a nice dinner without the constant, "What is this? I don't want this? I don't like green beans! Can I have more milk? Wait, I mean MAY I have more milk PLEASE? He is looking at me! Ellie totally has a booger in her nose! He made me spill my milk!" And, maybe catch a movie that isn't animated...though I am pretty big on Disney and Pixar. We could grab a coffee and people watch. We could wander the aisles of the bookstore at leisure. Everything could be in slow motion.

What would likely happen is we would eat our quiet dinner too fast because we are programmed that way now. We would talk about the kids and wonder what they were doing at that moment. I would squeeze in a trip to Target to get a few household items before we hit the bookstore where I would find the cutest picture books that I just know the kids would love. We would collapse in chairs at Starbucks at the end of the evening and marvel at the energy of youth and quietly question their clothing and piercings. We would begin to look at our watches a bit too anxiously. One of us would suggest we probably ought to go pick up the kids. We would reminisce about our quiet and relaxing night out. We would say we should do it again very soon. Then, as we park in front of the house, we would quickly steal a glance and each. Very quietly I will say, "Sweetie?" He will reply, "Yes?" And, I will say, "I am going to beat you in and get the first hugs and kisses!" We will both exert more energy than we have in days and rush to greet our children with the unconditional love found only in parents and puppies!