Exasperation

It is only my children who know how to push my buttons to the point of exasperation. They completely bewilder me at moments. I am amazed by their sheer gall and boldness. If I could somehow harness this fierce energy I would be a force to be reckoned with. No one would dare cross my path on a bad day. I would not filter what I say. I would not take care to not offend. I would say what I feel, when I feel it, whether it suits anyone or not.

My children don't have filters. They stand bold behind their beliefs whether that belief is that bedtime has arrived too early or that dinner is some form of poison in disguise. They will put their hands on their hips and argue their point until I am bedraggled by the mere conversation. They can talk sideways, backwards, up, and down. And, before I know it I have been talked into a corner confused at how I got there.

I am extremely thankful that these vexations are not the norm. However, having just experienced one, I am certain I will still be recovering by the time we have the next occurrence. I am not quite to the point of writhing in a corner, but I will admit that hiding under the covers sounds very appealing at the moment. And chocolate. Chocolate sounds delightful. And, a massage. A massage to ease my tension. But, instead, I will peek in on my sleeping children before I go to bed and I will see their peaceful faces and know that every exasperating moment is merely a pebble on the road of life.

Mitchell is sitting in my lap...

Let's see if I can get him to answer some questions.

1. What is Mommy's favorite color?

Pink

2. What is Mommy's favorite food?

Broccoli

3. What is Mommy's work?

Computer

4. What is Daddy's work?

The shop...where he does jobs

5. What is Mommy's favorite drink?

Water

6. What is Daddy's favorite drink?

Crystal Light

7. What is Mommy's favorite thing to do?

Rest

8. What is Daddy's favorite thing to do?

Pet the doggies

9. What is Daddy's favorite food?

Tacos

10. What's Daddy's favorite color?

Red

11. What is Daddy's favorite resturaunt?

Taco Bell

12. What is Mommy's favorite TV show?

Lost

13. What is Daddy's favorite TV show?

Lost

14. Who does Mommy love?

ME! (That is what Mitchell answered! Smart boy!)

A Poem by Mitchell

I am a boy
I hear a Rhinoceros
I see a little squirrel
I want a real bear

I am a bear
I pretend to be a zebra
I feel my heart
I touch my head
I cry when I am hurt
I am good at playing

I understand being patient

I say I'll be good
I dream I touch a squirrel
I try to be good
I hope to be a Paleontologist when I grow up
I care about giving my sister kisses every night

I am Mitchell

The TV

The kidlets were playing in their toy kitchen. They decided they would clean their toy kitchen. They then decided they should clean the house. They started with the TV. They applied lots of water to the TV to clean it, because, to clean anything you have to use water. And, it stands to reason that the more water ones uses the cleaner something becomes.

The good news is that the kidlets won the battle in the war of water verses electronics. They did not electrocute themselves. The bad news is that the TV met an untimely demise. But, really, I would rather have my kids unscathed than a TV that works. And, it was an ugly, obnoxious TV anyway. You don't realize what you don't need until you raise children in your home. Like a full set of dishes or chairs withouts stains. Really, what fun is that?

Stand Up and Fight!

I have many fears. I have big, overpowering fears about losing my children or my husband. I have everyday fears that are more like concerns. Concern about our finances; concern about making healthy meal choices for the kids; concern for our general health. And, I have silly fears. Worry that if I chose to wear my boots with my slacks, will I fall yet again at work. Worry that my child will pop the balloon they receive at a restaurant (yes, I fear balloons...laugh if you must. I am not afraid to jump out of a plane though. Silly, I know).

Through all my fears, one is consistently in the forefront of my mind. I am terrified of being attacked from behind. I have no reason to have this fear. I have never been attacked from any direction. I have never even being in a physical fight. But, this fear sticks with me. I even implored my husband when we were dating to never sneak up behind me. He has never intentionally done so but he has caught me off-guard a number of times. My response is to jump and shriek and then laugh nervously while my blood pressure returns to normal.

My fear of being attacked has served me well. I look people directly in the eyes if I pass someone while on a run or walking up to the ATM. I walk with my head up and soak in details around me. I try in earnest not to put myself in foolish situations. I am cautious but unprepared for what might happen should a predator ignore my show of confidence and attack. Actually, I was unprepared until last week. I was attacked. Thankfully, it was by a man in a padded suit in a self-defense seminar but the feelings I felt when his arms grabbed me couldn't have been more real.

My son's karate instructor, Master Dave Johnson, hosted a day-long self-defense course this past weekend. I attended because of this being attacked fear I haul around with me everywhere I go. I was thinking it would be a lot of, "if this happens...do this." I was completely wrong. We learned that there is no standard way to defend yourself based on the situation. Every situation is unique. Every situation has its own variables. You have to be able to draw on your knowledge and chose in an instant the skills that will serve you best in your given predicament.

As we went through the punches, and kicks, and jabs we began to see how combinations of moves could help defend us from an attacker even if it is just enough to get away and run. It was not textbook self-defense. It was real life self-defense.

At the end of the day, every student was "attacked" five times. Even though it was expected, the adrenaline was real. Before my first attack, I was shaking. It is like waiting for a very important test score. Like waiting for some impending evil to happen. I was going to see if I could apply what I learned in a three to five second attack. My first attack involved a lot of slapping and struggling on my part. By my fourth attack, I had my screaming in and was liberally issuing heel palm punches and thrust kicks. By my fifth attack, I had the guy over my shoulder and on the floor in front of me. I felt utter shock at the sight of him at my feet. And, I felt empowered.

I hope that I never have to use my newly found skills. I also know that I need to continue polishing them and refining them so that I will be able to call upon them in a moments notice. I am going to take Master Johnson's class again without hesitation. I encourage all my friends to take his class or a similar one. There is no price-tag to steep for your life. I would pay all that I had to keep my friends and family safe. We live in such an uncertain world I figure a few basic self-defense skills will help keep me safe, or at least give me a better chance of escaping an unpleasant situation.

Remember, don't sneak up behind me. It really freaks me out. And, now, you might just end up on the ground in front of me!