Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The "Just Enough" Mom

My daughter was terribly sad to head back to school today after the three-day weekend. She is a very emotional creature, much like myself, so I knew what she was feeling when she said she didn't want to leave me and Daddy today.

As I drove to work her little face and simple words kept nipping at me. I know both of my children are growing up fast and I started to wonder if I spend enough time with them. Do I play with them enough? Do I talk with them enough? Do I just hang out with them enough? Is what I do as a mother simply enough? I decided it wasn't.

No matter how much time I spend with my kids, I will always want to spend more. No matter how many stories we read together, I will always think of the one we missed. No matter how many bike rides and dog walks we take, I will always long for one more. No matter how many bedtimes hugs and kisses I give, I will always remember the nights I was away for work.

As a mom, I know I will always want to be and do more for my kids. This is the reason why my daughter has a stuffed gorilla the same size as her and why my son's interest in swimming has me pricing local team participation. I said yes to the huge gorilla because I love my daughter. I am pricing swimming lessons because I love my son. I want them to have more than I had growing up and I want them to accomplish more than I ever will. 

These are the things I pondered on my hour long drive today as I pictured my little girl's sad eyes when I left this morning. In my gut I knew what I had to do. I completed the task at hand for work; I presented to a class of 120 college sophomores and juniors. I took care of loose-ends on campus. I made sure my work obligations were fulfilled. And then I drove back to my kids' school just in time to have lunch with my daughter. Yes, I will have to work late tonight to make sure I complete all my work. Yes, I will be tired tomorrow. But, no, I have no regrets about spending extra time with my girl. Today she needed a mom and today I decided to be just enough. I know I am going to turn around and she will be grown. Today I was not perfect but I was enough...just enough for my little girl.


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