Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Truly the Pits!

I went to one of the colleges I call on yesterday. My first stop was the campus police department. At this particular account I am fortunate to get a vendor permit for the semester. It doesn’t cost me anything and spares my travel budget a small amount in parking fees. Plus, it allows me to park in some choice spaces during the harried first few weeks of the semester.

As I waited for the student deputy on duty to validate my permit another student entered the building and stood in line. He was in a hurry and was agitated that he had to wait for me and the person behind me. He had lost his sunglasses and “Dude,” he just needed to check the lost and found bin.

I admit to having a fascination with human behavior so I watched this young student from the corner of my eye. I saw him reach from something and press it to his face. I, casually, looked his way in that sweeping of the eyes manner that is supposed to be an attempt to look at the entire room but everyone knows you are totally scoping them out. When I did this I saw that the student had a copy of the student newspaper pressed to his cheek. I turned back to the counter a bit grossed out. I assumed he busted a zit and was coping with pimple ooze. That was enough to churn the bile up in my stomach a bit.

Another scan of the room relieved that it wasn't a zit at all. Instead of pimple ooze he was blotting perspiration. I know this to be true because in my secondary sweep of the eyes I saw he had lifted his shirt and was pressing the newspaper into his arm pit. He secured the newspaper and squeezed his arm down. When he lifted his arm back up he removed the newspaper now stuck to his pit and examined it. Then he folded the newspaper over and repeated the action on the other pit. It was like mega size rice paper! I had complete bile churn now.

My sweeping eyes halted and I know I did a full-on gape at him. I had to lift my jaw from the floor when the student deputy called me to let me know my permit was ready. I was dumbstruck. Who does that? I know we live where it is hot but don't groom your pits in public! I sweat too. I sweat into a serious mess but I do not blot any part of my torso in public. That is just smelly wrong.

The only thing the student did that was considerate is not return his newspaper to the stack for some other individual to grab. That was kind...I will give him that much. But I did re-evaluate my own decision to grab a paper at another location on campus. I knew it was likely clean...but I decided not o chance it. I didn't want to see the words in the articles smeared by sweat!

No comments: